Carry On
by xxxSimplyHookedxxx
Summary: The pregnant scare wasn't a scare after all. Rachel turns out to be pregnant with Brody's baby. As Rachel realizes that her dreams for her career at NAYDA may be over – due to her pregnancy she couldn't dream of ending the pregnancy. The only place she feels the safest is in Quinn's arms.
1. I'm Pregnant and the baby isn't Finn's

**TITLE: **_Carry On _

**SUMMARY: **_The pregnant scare wasn't a scare after all. Rachel turns out to be pregnant with Brody's baby. As Rachel realizes that her dreams for her career at NAYDA may be over – due to her pregnancy she couldn't dream of ending the pregnancy. The only place she feels the safest is in Quinn's arms._

**CATEGORIES: **_Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance, Humor, Angst, Crime, Spiritual, Suspense, Tragedy_

**RATING: **_T_

**PRELUDE:**

**Quinn's POV**

"I'm pregnant. The baby isn't Finn's." Your world turned up side down. Now you know how it would have felt like if you had said those words three years ago. You swallow. "Oh." Was the only thing that could come out of your mouth.

She's looking into your hazel eyes with scared, and sad chocolate brown eyes. "I was going to ..." she couldn't get the word out. You reached out, and griped her right hand tightly into your own. "I just couldn't." She whispered as a lone tear rolled down her cheeks.

"I understand." You whisper. That's as loud as you think that your voice can go in this moment.

"I couldn't be at the loft any longer." She was speaking once more. "Santana has been great about this. She held me when I was scared. She took me to the doctors. She held me when my world ended." She took in a breath. "She was there when I told Kurt. That the baby I'm carrying isn't his nephew or niece. That the baby wasn't Finn's."

You swallow. You wished you could have gone back to Sophomore year; and realized that you were pregnant. You wish that you had been brave enough to confide in Santana. You just knew that she would have been there for you; just as she is now for Rachel. Even though you knew the baby's father was Puck. The same Puck whom had an on going relationship of sorts with Santana at the time. Santana would have been there for you. She would have protected you.

"How do I tell Finn this? This will crush him." She let out a whine.

"He'll understand. He'll still want to be with you." You swallowed around the lump lodged deep in your throat. "He loves you Rach. You are his end game after all." Your soul died as you spoke.

She looking into your eyes. Searching for something. You are trying so desperately to build up that shaky wall that always came crashing down whenever she was in your line of sight. "Finn isn't _my_ end game." Her breath hits your face. How did she get so close? When did she get so close? Had she always been this distance from you? You blink as you try desperately to take in her words.

**Rachel's POV**

You see her struggling to gather herself together again. To pull herself back within herself. But; you couldn't allow this too happen. If this happened then you felt like you would lose her. You couldn't lose her. You just can't. "I need you Quinn." You whimper.

Her hazel eyes blink lazily. "You have me, Rach. You have always had me." Her tongue peeked out to lick her bottom lip.

"Just don't hide away from me. Ever again. Please Quinn." You beg as you step even closer to her. Her hand was still on your arm. Your right hands were still gripping one another. "I can't do this without you."

"You won't have too." She whispered promised. "I'm not going anywhere." She closed her eyes.

You couldn't stand it any longer. You wrapped your arms around her. Pushing your slim body against her own. Pushing her future into her dorm room. Your foot shut the door behind you. Away from any prying eyes that had been watching your interaction.

**Quinn's POV**

Your arms move so the palms of your hands could cup her cheeks. Your fingers are sprayed and you can feel the line of her cheekbones. "Whatever you need, Rach, I'm here for you. I'm going no where." You meet her brown eyes with your hazel ones.

"You can tell Finn for me." She teary wised cracked. "After all I owe you one for telling Finn that Puck was the father of Beth instead of you." Her eyes lowered as fresh tears fell down her cheeks. "Too soon." She hiccuped.

You wrapped your arms tightly around her; and pulled her against you once more. You could tell that she couldn't stand on her own any longer. You'll be her strength. Just as she had been yours all those years ago. Although she never knew that you drew strength just by the mere sight of her during your pregnancy.

You feel the shake of her legs against your own. You gently pick her up, and carry her bridal style over to your bed. Bending you place her on your unmade bed. The bed that you had previously been sound asleep in before the knock on your door awoken you. She wouldn't let go of your back; you have no choice to but to fall against her. Making sure that you don't put your full weight on her as you laid your body fully on top of hers.

Your fingers undo her coat buttons as her fingers massage your long sleeved cotton shirt. You finally get the last button unhooked, and you feel her cotton shirt as you push her coat to the sides of her. You stare into her tired eyes as you lift yourself slightly up; so you could push her coat off of her body; and away from her arms. You just manage to stay on top of her as you get her hands out of her coat sleeve.

As soon as you hear the coat drop to the floor. "Do you need to use the restroom before we fall asleep?"

She breathes in your face. "N-no." She just clings to your skin even that much tighter.

"Okay." You whisper as you run your right hand through her soft raven hair.

"Just hold me all night, please." She whimpers.

"Of course." You whisper as you stroke her hair with one hand; while the other hand was pulling the covers up to cover you. You just beginning to realize how cold your dorm room was. The heater was broken. Yet again.

**Rachel's POV**

You were so exhausted. It feels like everything has finally caught up to you; all at once. You feel that now that you were in Quinn's arms it was safe for you to just let go. It is safe not to be in control. You haven't felt this safe since leaving Lima. Since the moment Quinn had left your site as the train speed it's way out of Lima, Ohio towards New York. You know right in this moment that the heart break you had been feeling as the train speed you away from your life; from Finn wasn't about losing Finn. It was truly losing Quinn that made you feel like you were going to die. That you couldn't catch your breath. No matter how you desperately tried to rein in hard wracking breathes you had to keep breathing.

Your dorm room was too small. It was very overwhelming …. then your room mate came barging in. She took one look at you and announced that she was going to be fucking whatever boy or man she chooses to bring into the room. With or without you being in the room. Then she waltzed out without telling her her name. You wanted to call Quinn and tell her about your roommate … but you didn't. You couldn't bare to hear her voice on the phone …. knowing that she was a few hundred miles away – still in Lima, Ohio.

Then Kurt came to New York; and saved you from your dorm. The moment you found out what hotel he was staying at; you grabbed your things out of the dorm; and moved in with Kurt. He helped lesson the loneliness you had felt all summer. You knew with Kurt by your side you could survive being away from your fathers, Finn and Quinn in New York. You finally had your best friend back; and you two were going to find a apartment to share. You began to feel like you were home once more.

But you knew something was missing. You thought it was Finn. He had kept in contact with you all summer at all. But; then he showed up out of the blue. You were thankful that he was alive of course. But then you had moved on to having feelings for Brody. This older man whom actually found you attractive and wanted to be with you. Whom didn't know anything about your past in Lima, Ohio. Whom didn't give a damn about his damn reputation. He was past that. It was easy to be with Brody then it was to be with Finn. So it was easy to say good bye to Finn.

You were so busy with Brody, saying good bye to Finn, NAYDA, living in New York that you never found time to contact Quinn. You managed to push the thing that had been missing from your soul to the back of your mind. Until the film came around. You couldn't believe that you were about to do a nude scene for a student film without really thinking about it. Without listening to Kurt's sound advice. Even with Brody walking around naked in the loft didn't faze you one bit. Oh God; what you put Kurt through. You were smirking at how uneasy he was with Brody being naked in front of him at the kitchen table. How insensitive could you be?

Kurt knew what you desperately needed. Whom you desperately needed. You were just surprised that he also included Santana in the SOS call. You just needed Quinn. It was nice to hear what Santana had to say. But; truly it was Quinn whom truly helped you see reason over the nude role in the student film. Only her words were swimming around your head as you kept trying to talk yourself into doing the scene.

It was only Quinn's voice you truly heard during 'Love Song' her voice bending with your voice. It was only the two of you. You fought tears as you sang the song with your arms around her. You just was in New York with you. With your skin touching her skin. That she was real.

She went back to New Haven that night. You had Brody move in the following day. You didn't even allow Kurt to have a say. You just had Brody move into your room; and your bed. Then you went back to Lima for Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury's almost wedding. You saw Quinn. Every time you tried to make your way to her; she would get into a deep conversation with Santana. You were on the stage singing with Finn when you just watched Quinn and Santana dance together. You told Finn that you wanted him that night.

That night was the biggest mistake of your life. You left the room as soon as you knew Finn was sound asleep. You went back to New York that night. You lied to Brody. Your life had been in a whirlwind and you just keep adding more and more things to the wind. You weren't even all that upset when you learned that Brody was a paid male hooker. You didn't even care if he carelessly gave you an STD.

But your world stopped when the doctor confirmed that you were pregnant. You felt all your dreams come crashing down at your feet. Just as they did when you chocked on your NAYDA audition. Your first thoughts were that nothing and _no one_ was going to stand in your way of Broadway. But; then Beth came to your mind. With Beth an very young and scared pregnant Quinn flashed though your mind. You just knew that you couldn't end your pregnancy at any cost. That this innocent little being that was even growing inside you was depending on you to protect him or her. That this innocent little being whom had no choice on his or her life yet was depending on you to make the _right_ choice.

You knew that you could count on both Santana and Kurt in your time of need. But; they didn't make you feel safe. You just needed to feel safe. Without a thought you left the loft; and somehow made it to the train station. You used your Metro pass and soon you were outside of Quinn's dorm room door. You didn't even realize that it was past midnight – and that she was probably sound asleep. Or she was out on a date. Or studying. Or she was inside sharing her bed with someone. You didn't care. All you needed was Quinn. So you raised your hand and knocked.

As soon as the door opened and Quinn appeared before you; you just quietly whimpered and threw your arms around her. Holding her tightly you felt like you were safe once more. You finally felt your feet land on solid earth once more. You had felt like you were free falling since the moment you left Lima, Ohio the day after graduation. Being in Quinn's arms felt like home. A home you never wanted to leave ever again.

**Quinn's POV**

You felt her shiver underneath you. You run your hands on her hips up to her shoulders, then back down once again. "I'm sorry that it's so damn cold in here. The heater is busted. Again." You sigh at the end of it.

Her teeth is clattering. "It's not due to the heat. Everything has hit me all at once is all." She whimpered lowly. "Moving to New York. Meeting Brody. Kissing Brody. Finn showing up at my door the moment after kissing Brody. Trying to make it work with Finn. Chasing after Finn to Lima. Breaking up with Finn. Having Brody move in. Sleeping with Finn meaning cheating on Brody. Finding out that Brody is a male hooker. Now finding out I'm pregnant with Brody's baby." Her hand feels so cold on your cheek.

You lean into the hand. But; you quickly come back to your senses; you bring a hand up to draw her hand back to underneath the covers. "Keep your hand underneath the covers. It'll help you warm up that much faster." You whisper in her ear. Hoping your hot breath would warm her skin quickly.

She hummed.

"Do you want me to get all the blankets and pile them over us?" You husk out. You feel your body prepare to move. Her hand tightens against you.

"No. I just need you. Just you." She whispers in your ear as you feel her hot breath on your right ear.

"Okay." You whisper back. Your body moves back the few inches to meet her's on your bed. You wrap your right arm across her thin waist. Your left one is massaging her collar bone; and her neck. "Do Kurt and Santana know you are here?" You ask suddenly worried that you may be getting a frantic call from Kurt about Rachel missing.

She breathes as she closes her eyes. "I had to get out of the loft. I don't know if I said anything. I just had to get out of the loft. I had to get to you so I could breathe again."

You lean over her and grab your phone. You open it and saw no new messages. "I'll let them know you are safe." You said as you opened a text to Kurt. **Rachel is with me. Don't come to New Haven. I'll bring her back to New York when she's ready.** You press send. Leaning back across her you place your cell back on the table.

Her hand places over yours as you move back. She holds you in place. "Stay." She whispers in your ear. You simply breath into her face. "I'm never going anywhere." Leaning in close you kiss her forehead. _I love you. _

"I'm scared." She whimpers. "What am I going to do?" Her hand is shaking on your hip.

"You are going to lean on me." You whisper as you gently stroke her cheekbone on the right side. You kiss her face all over. "You are going to let me be there completely for you." You kiss the right side of her lips. _You are going to allow me to love you. _"You are going to carry on." You place your head on her shoulder; just on her collar bone.

"I'm going to carry on." She whispers as her eyes drift close. "With you beside me, everything is going to be okay." Her breathing evens out. "I love you Quinn. You are my best friend." She sighs the last.

You lean forward, and place your lips against her neck. "I love you too Rach; but more than a friend." You whisper as you silently watch her sleep. Your arms around her tighten as you gather her closer to you. You just want to protect her. Vowing that you'll never leave her side …. even when she meets her true soul mate. "I'll always love you." You close your eyes as you fall asleep.

**END PRELUDE**

_Author's Note: I have decided to tell this story in each characters POV. I have decided to use the 'You' instead of 'I' because it flows better if the person is telling their part of the story from outside themselves. Whenever the person is only talking to one other person then I'll be using 'she' and 'he' – but when there are more then of course I'll use their names._

_I'm trying my hand on writing 'real life' style. I do have a solid plan on the plot for this story. But; I have decided not to write point a to point b style (which is my normal style) – but I have decided to write point a zig zag to point k than zig zag to point c then zig zag back to point a. _

_The pregnancy scare stayed with me; and I knew that I would love to write a 'what if Rachel was actually pregnant in her freshmen year of NAYDA. While dating Brody and hooking up with Finn at the almost wedding'. I know many people go with the obvious choice that Finn would be the father. (I'm no way in any form a Fincele fan. Even if Corey had remained alive for the end of 'Glee' & if R.I.B could have had their original ending to the show (Rachel coming back to Lima after staring as Fanny Brice to marry Finn & have them remain in Lima with Finn being a teacher). I really loved the idea that Brody could have fathered the baby. Especially after it turned out that Brody Wesson was a male hooker. _

_As a die hard Faberry fan this story is of course Faberry Endgame. _


	2. Oh Those Hurt Feelings

**Chapter One**

**Oh Those Hurt Feelings**

**Kurt's POV**

Your phone buzzes in your hand. You quickly open your home scene and see a text. From Quinn. You sigh in disappointment. You ponder if you should ignore it; and just rush out in the New York streets, and search for Rachel. She's been gone for three hours all ready. You blink your eyes as you take in the time. Wait a minute …. it's been three hours since Rachel rushed from the loft; and you are just _now _thinking of following her? What the hell is _up _with you; man? She's pregnant, and scared out of her mind. She went rushing into the New York streets at midnight! This isn't Ohio for crying out loud. This is New freaking York.

Your finger hits the scene and Quinn's text opens; **Rachel is with me. Don't come to New Haven. I'll bring her back to New York when she's ready. ** You breathe in relief. She was safe. She was with Quinn. She was safe. You place your phone back in your pajama bottoms.

"That's it three hours is freaking enough. I'm going to march out there; and drag our little Diva back home." Santana's voice stormed from the living space.

"She's with Quinn." You call out.

"New Haven here I come." Santana sighed deeply.

"You aren't needed." You sigh. Standing to your feet. You make your way past your sheet door. "She's safe with Quinn. Allow Quinn to be the one to get her back on her even keel." You wrap your arms across your long sleeved shirt. "We weren't making her feel safe." You raise your right eye brow; then sink back to normal as you feel a frown on your lips.

"What the fuck does Tubbers know on how to take care of Rachel?!" Santana right arm threw out. "Where has she been all these weeks? Up in New Haven humping that professor of hers. Or is it professors now?"

You sigh. "Leave it alone, Santana. Just leave it alone. Now isn't the time for you to go all crazy ass on us."

Santana snaps her fingers. "There's only one crazy ass in this group; and it sure as hell isn't me. It's Quinn! You know Quinn Fabray the freaking physio! What in just one year she went all shank on us; then she went all crazy on _stealing _her own baby back. Then when that didn't work out she wanted an _second _baby. All before graduating from high school! Now since going to the high priced and prestigious_ University_ she's just got even crazier. What do you call a girl whom sleeps with her professor?! A slut! A huge fucking slut. Oh; and she's not just any slut …." Fire blazed in her eyes; "She's a hidden lesbian slut. I mean she got on this when she got a chance!"

Your eyes widen.

Santana realized what she had just shouted. "Oh shit!" She breathed out.

**Santana's POV**

You really need to get a hold of your anger before you start spewing out things. You know that you are going to pay dearly for this …. after all you just told Quinn's biggest secret to the gossip hound at McKinley High School. Shit; Kurt Hummel was better at the gossip then JewFo _ever _was. You know what? Screw it! Screw protecting Quinn freaking Fabray any longer. You guys are out of high school. You are out of Lima, Ohio. So Quinn's a total lesbian so freaking what! She's no longer living in her mother's house. She no longer has to deal with her father. She's a fucking ass adult for crying out loud. Let her take care of her own shit from now on.

"You and Quinn?" Kurt chocked out. "Never thought that would happen." He murmured to himself.

"Porcelain why wouldn't it happen?" You couldn't help snapping your fingers up and down at your sides. "I mean look at this hot bod. Whom wouldn't want to get all up in it."

"Promise me that you won't tell Rachel." Kurt stared into your eyes. "Let Quinn in her own time tell her."

You stare incredibility at him. "I'm not in the field of _protecting _Lucy Quinn Fabray. Never have!" You snare.

"But you _are_ in the field of protecting Rachel Barbara Berry." He calmly pointed out.

"I don't protect anyone!" You storm out. "Expect Brittany." You lower your voice to a normal level. _Even though she doesn't want you to anymore. She has Sam now after all. She sent you to New York with her still stuck in Lima. _

"If you even hint to Rachel about you and Quinn hooking up; then Santana you are out of the loft." He said in a calm voice. "Matter of fact, Santana, if you attack Quinn in front of Rachel you are out."

You blink. You aren't surprised at this. "I'm here full time; Quinn is 88 miles away. Not like Princess is going to take a two hour train to and from New Haven every single day." You shrug. "Once Rachel returns doubt we'll hear much from _Quinnie_."

Kurt sighed deeply.

**Kurt's POV**

"You are a very important part of Rachel's life; Santana." You say gently. "Once you stopped trying so hard to keep her at a distance …. she feels safe with you in her life." Tilting your head to the right. "She can lean on more than one person at a time."

She crossed her hands across her chest "Never said she couldn't." Her chin jetted out.

"Then why are you all jealous that she wants Quinn to lean on right now?" You move into the kitchen. You need to warm up some milk. Perhaps that will help you get some sleep. You have a long day of classes in just a few hours. You weren't looking forward to dance class with Cassandra July. That woman was ruthless. Especially towards Rachel. There is something in Cassandra that absolutely hates Rachel. At first you thought Ms. July was just like Mr. Schue when Rachel first told you about her; but ever since you met her – the day you helped Rachel stretch; you just knew that there was no way on earth that Ms. July wanted the best for Rachel; as Mr. Schue always did. Not once has Rachel fought Ms. July as she did Mr. Schue. Rachel has always been meek around Ms. July but that wasn't good enough for Cassandra July. It was like Cassandra July wanted to be the person to break Rachel into zillion of pieces; and not allow Rachel a chance to rebuild herself. You just were not going to allow this too happen. That's why you fought even harder to get into NAYDA in the winter session.

At least now that you are at NAYDA you can protect Rachel.

You feel Santana at your side. "I wasn't there for Quinn when she was going through with her own pregnancy." She said in a low calm voice. "I aim to be there for Rachel."

"Did you offer to be by Quinn's side?" You placed the mostly filled kettle onto the stove; turning the knob as you did so.

"I was dating Puck at the time that she slept with him. I was angry that he cheated on me; and I was of course angry at her for going after my man." Santana frowned as she palmed the counter top.

"You were with Brittany; and how many guys on the side yourself?" You pointed out in a calm voice. Your head turned to face her angry one. "You can't deny the truth."

"Saint Quinn shouldn't have cheated on her boyfriend with my boyfriend." Santana stonily stated. "She was being such a huge fucking hypocritical. Lofting her precious virginity in all our faces. Founding the celibate club." She barked in laughter. "I still want to know what the hell that was all about. I mean she _rejoined_ it when Ms. Pillsbury took it over. While she was in it – she cheats on Sam with Finn. What a damn hypocritical she is!"

"Why are you friends with her?" You hear yourself ask. Just as the tea kettle whistled. You pour some milk into the to mugs at your side.

"We aren't friends." Santana grabbed her mug; and marched to the couch. "We just tolerate one another."

You sigh. "Quinn is going to be a permanent person in this loft, Santana. Do you think you can hold back on your anger, and deep jealously?" You lean against the counter; as you sip from your mug. "I mean it Santana. If you even _think _of attacking Quinn in any way; then you are out of the loft. I'm not going to have Rachel worrying about you right now. It's not good for her; and especially not good for the baby." You eye the back of Santana's head.

"So _Quinnie _wins the final game." The hurt in Santana's voice rings through the loft.

You want to reassure her that she's not losing anything; but you know Santana well by now. That mere words won't soften the hardness that is surrounding her spirit. "I'm sorry that I'm coming down so hard on this issue; Santana. But; Rachel has so much stress going on right now at NAYDA. I can't control Cassandra July. I can't control the other students or teachers whom want to make Rachel's life a living hell. Which they will do once they learn that Rachel is pregnant; and intends to carry the baby full term. The only stress of Rachel's that I can control is you."

**Santana's POV**

"I hate being controlled." You growl as you turns to face Kurt whom was leaning against the kitchen counter. He just lifted his right eye brow. "I'm not going to allow that bitch Quinn to kick me out of my home." You lift the mug to your lips; and you take a long and deep swallow of the cooler milk. "But; I can play nice."

"That's all I ask." He replied; as he placed his mug into the sink. You watch as he walks to his bedroom. He stops; and turns around. "Oh and please don't inform Cassandra about the pregnancy next time you run into her. Allow Rachel to be the one to inform NAYDA of her newest status."

"Fine." You sigh.

He nods; and pulls the sheet to cover his private space.

You can't believe that you can't tear Quinn a new one. But; Kurt never said that you couldn't tear Cassandra July a new one. That bitch won't know what hit her once you are through with her.

**END CHAPTER ONE**


	3. Doomed High School Sweethearts

**CHAPTER THREE**

**Doomed High School Sweethearts**

**Finn's POV**

"Hey Mr. Schue." You say with a smile as you walk into the choir room. "I thought up some routines for the kids to try out." You frown at the forlorn look on your mentor's face. It was a look that you have grown used to seeing on the man ever since you meet him back in Sophomore year. It was the look he always had whenever he thought about his personal life. It was a look that you wished you didn't have to see ever again. You had hoped that once he married his true love; Ms. Pillsbury; then that look would be gone. But; he wasn't married to her. Yet. So the look remained.

He sighed deeply as he turned to meet your eyes. "Oh hey Finn." He said in a tired voice. "What was it you were talking about?" His eyes looked confused.

You sigh gently. "Um it doesn't matter."

He raised his right eye brow. "Finn; it does matter."

That was why Mr. Schue was one of your favorite male role models. Even when his life was in the dumps; he still made time for you. Your right hand goes to the back of your head. "Um; I actually have some routines for the kids to try out."

"Great. Wonderful." He tried to get a smile out on his lips. He clapped his hands together. You can tell that he was actually trying. Even through it is coming off on a downer note. You decide right there, and then to try to encourage him that all is not lost where Ms. Pillsbury was concerned. After all although you and Rachel weren't together right now; didn't mean that you won't be in the long haul.

You did set Rachel free the day that you sent her off to New York on her own; after graduation. You had to still honor your words to her. You meant them then; and you meant them now. Although it's breaking your heart that she's sharing her bed with some other man. At least it wasn't Puck. But; still it hurt that she's with someone whom isn't you. But; you understand that she's still trying to find her way back to you.

You flash back to the almost wedding. How Rachel told you that she wanted you after you two sang together. Moments after you told her that you guys were the end game. That no matter how many times she slept with that Brody guy; or other guys; that you were just waiting for her. Then you two were together once more in the hotel room. You were able to slide deeply into her; and you felt her body against yours once more – you felt her desperate need for you still. You just loved her even more throughout the night.

When you woke up the next morning; and she was gone you felt lost once more. But; you could still feel her against you – so you knew that you were not wrong the previous night – that in time she'll come back to you. You grew so angry when Santana called you; and told you that she was sure that Brody was up to no good concerning Rachel. You were so steamed up in the bathroom of the hotel that Brody used for his clients – that you were so happy that he made you punch him in the face. You got to beat the shit out of the douche bag; and inform him that he had to leave your future wife alone.

Rachel still didn't know that you did that. You were fine with keeping her in the dark. All that mattered to you was that she was no longer seeing Brody. That she finally knew the truth about Brody's business; and she broke up with him. You would go to the ends of the earth to protect Rachel. You can't wait till you and her are finally married; and you can be by her side for all time.

"... so that's what I was thinking, Finn. Finn?" You come out of your thoughts as Mr. Schue's hazel eyes grew concerned.

"Umm, what was that, Mr. Schue?" You said as you comb your hair with your left hand.

Mr. Schue sighed. "Don't worry about it Finn."

**Will's POV**

You knew that the difference between you and Finn was; that at the end of the day you would be married to Emma. But; sadly Finn won't be married to Rachel. You had known this fact for a very long time. Ever since the kids Sophomore year. You knew just by glancing at Finn and Rachel – that they wouldn't be happily married high school sweethearts. But try telling that to teenagers.

Try telling that to yourself when you were their age. You had Terri; and you thought you two would out last the entire world. At seventeen years of age you were so sure that you and Terri were made for one another. You got through college without even glancing at another girl. The only girl for you was Terri. You married her right after graduating. You gave up your dreams of New York; and singing on Broadway to make a home with Terri in your hometown. You were so sure that your love for her was going to keep you happy for the rest of your life. You didn't mind that you didn't manage to escape from this hell whole expect for your college.

But then all your dreams went down hill. Terri didn't want to start a family right away. You had always dreamt that as soon as you and her were finally married; you would start to have little ones running around in no time. You just knew that you two would make perfect little beings. You were looking forward to holding your child in your arms; against your chest – promising them that all their dreams would come true. But Terri crushed them when she said that she didn't want to have your child right away. You told her that you understood; and that you pushed your dreams of being a dad away for the time being.

That's why you wanted to become a teacher. You wanted to shape young minds – and perhaps 'adopt' your classroom. When you heard that your old high school was hiring – the only school in the district that was hiring; you jumped at the chance to teach. They were much older then the kids that you dreamt of 'adopting' but you were willing to teach these young minds.

It wasn't until the Glee club was formed that you found your 'adoptive' children. Then Terri told you that she was pregnant. You felt like your cup had over filled. Then it all went to hell when you finally learned that Terri lied to you; that she never was pregnant. That she was 'padding' herself to keep you from leaving her. That she had planned on 'stealing' (she told you that she would have adopted) Quinn's baby. That Quinn knew that you two were the perfect parents for her unwanted child. You couldn't believe how calmly Terri looked you in the eyes; and told you that she basically tricked a scared young teenager to giving away her baby. You told Terri that you were through with the lie of your marriage to her.

By then you had realized what real love was. You had found your true soul mate. It was Emma. But you were trapped in your marriage by the time you met her. You swore to yourself that you were not a cheater; that you wouldn't make any moves on Emma while married to Terri. Terri sensed that you were finished with your marriage; so that's why she faked the pregnancy. You were guilty for finding your true love while still married to Terri; but Terri was guilty of lying to you about a child – and trying to steal some one else's child away from them.

You watch as Finn made his way over to his normal chair. The chair that he had sat in whenever he was dating Rachel. He looked fondly in Rachel's normal chair. How do you begin to prepare him for giving up his dream of marrying his high school sweetheart? How do you prepare him to move forward to meeting his own soul mate? His soul was so fragile all ready. Is he ready for this heartbreak? Would he ever be ready for it?

**Kitty's POV**

You sigh inwardly as Marley sighed next to you. You refuse to look at her as you are trying to finish your homework. Whatever possessed you to invite her over to do homework? Why the hell did you tell her that she could join you on your Queen sized bed to study? You should have ordered her to study on the floor. That was what you would have done a few weeks ago. Hell; a few weeks ago you would never ever dream of inviting Marley Rose to your house period. At least not without the other Gleek girls. You would have snubbed Marley and forced the other girls to go along with you. Just as you did with the sleepover before 'Grease'.

But you promised yourself to turn over a new leaf. To actually trust in Marley's friendship. You need to. Because you know that you would be lost without it.

It was still hard to admit it to yourself. You would never ever admit it to Marley. At least not yet. Perhaps in a few years into your adulthood; once Marley has proven that she has spoken the truth, and wanted to be your friend.

You pray that Marley is telling the truth. You couldn't bare it if she was just using you to be protected at McKinley.

You didn't know if you were strong enough if Marley was just like all the others. So you kept her at a distance. Still.

**Marley's POV**

You sigh once more. Your eyes drift back to the shorter blonde next to you. The blonde whom is sitting upright with a science book lifted firmly up to her face. You know that she's not taking in anything at all. You look back at your own copy of the book. You try to take in the assigned reading; but your thoughts kept drifting to the hazel eyed blonde next to you.

How can you break through that hard shell? You have made progress. But; it was just a little tiny progress. With one false move and the door would slam shut. Never to open again. Not even a crack. It was like she wanted you to fail. She was waiting for you to fail.

You refuse to fail. Granted you were going to make mistakes. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. Tiny mistakes. But you knew that your mistakes wouldn't cause her to slam the door shut. To build up those walls higher than ever before. She wouldn't cement or put steel around where you couldn't break them. Just as long as you didn't make that one mistake.

You know that you have to move slowly with this wild little colt next to you. You knew this from the first moment she marched up to you on your first day at McKinley; told you that you were going to be on the loser end of the food chain for the rest of your life. You watched in wide eyed shock as she turned and flounced down the hallway. That was the moment that you swore to yourself that you would make a everlasting friend out of the fragile soul that had insulted you instead of befriending you. That's why you never once took anything that she threw towards you to heart. Your tears were for her not yourself.

Expect when she insulted your mother. Those tears belonged to your mother not her.

This wild little colt next to you has stopped insulting your mother. After she finally learned whom your mother actually was; she stopped. She actually showed that she honesty did care about your mom. Especially during the shooting incident. When you were frantically texting your mom; and she wasn't replying. Kitty slid closer to you; and tearfully told you that no one would ever dream of hurting your mom; because everyone loved her. You knew she was telling a lie. But you knew then that she was another person whom honesty loved your mother; almost as much as you did.

"Thank you for having me over." You speak. You are shocked at the noise of your voice. You two had been in stilled silence for the past half hour.

She jerks at the sound of your voice. You watch as she brings her right hand up to her chest. Then her hand quickly goes back to her science book; which had dropped into her lap. You keep your eyes glued to her as she twisted her hazel ones to meet yours. "Are you still here?" Her voice is high pitched. She swallows. "I quite forgot that you were here." She glances back down at her opened science book.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." You say as you keep watching her.

Her head twisted back to face you. "You didn't scare me." She frowned. "I just forgot you were here is all." You can tell she's lying.

**Kitty's POV**

Her blue eyes were staring into your own. It was like she was staring into your very soul. It had been like this since the first moment you walked up to her; and told her what was what at McKinley High school. Okay; so you called her a loser and told her that she would forever remain the loser that she was. You never once gave her a chance to speak up. You just turned and quickly left. You had felt yourself fall into her gaze; and you had your image to uphold after all; it took all your will power to leave.

You swore that you'll never give her that power over you ever again. But; looking into her blue eyes sends you into a crazy scary free falling. Every. Single. Time. It wasn't until you tearfully hugged her after confessing to what you had done to her costume for 'Grease' that you felt that you were almost to a safe haven. But; you quickly let go; and got as far away from her as you could. You crossed the room to where Unique and Ryder were … fully knowing if the gunman banged opened the door; that he would have shot you dead in the middle of the choir room. You didn't care in that moment – all you knew was that you didn't deserve her to be your safe haven.

"So what are your plans for the weekend? Puckerman still trying to get into your pants?" You raise your right eye brow. You know that this will unnerve her. As always. This was a good way of getting her off your back.

She blushed. "Jake has brought up sleeping together again; today. But; he fully is committed to waiting till I'm ready." She had a soft smile cross her lips. "He's in this for the long haul. Even if I want to wait until college." She looked down to her twisted hands; "Or until our marriage bed."

You roll your eyes. You fully knew that **NO **Puckerman male could hold out that long for sex. Especially after having sex. If Marley didn't give in and sleep with Jake; then he'll move on before the years out. But; try telling Marley Rose this. You hint around it. You insinuated But; you haven't said in stark words. You just couldn't destroy Marley's romantic dream like that.

No it would be better if Jake did it himself. You knew any day now he'll cave into his natural needs; and either pressure Marley into sleeping with him. Or he'll cheat on her. After all he's a Puckerman male after all. They were all cheaters after all.

Although Puck didn't cheat on you. You broke up with him when he decided to join Finn at Ohio State. You knew that you couldn't compete with the college girls. You didn't want to. You didn't want to have to go to college parties just to be with Puck. It wasn't worth fighting off college guys from laying their hands on you. It was bad enough with high school boys. Puck was easy to control. But you knew that he was only with you because you reminded him of Quinn.

After all you and Quinn could be twins. Well sisters at least …. you were younger after all. You didn't mind it when he murmured Quinn's name when he was kissing you in your car at the Sadie Hawkins dance; or that he almost called out her name when he came deep within you.

You fully knew that Noah Puckerman was in love with Quinn. But; you also knew that he would get his heart broken someday. Quinn Fabray only belonged to one person. That one person had always been; and always will be Rachel Berry,

"It's not a crime to wait, Kitty." Marley said in a hurt voice.

"I just don't think Jake can wait to have sex once more for years and years." You truthfully replied. "After all he knows the joys of getting himself off inside girls." You shrug your shoulders. "I just don't think Jake's the guy for you."

Hurt is shining in her eyes as she stares at you. It wasn't the first time that you have informed her of this. It won't be the last. You were just preparing her for the end that you _knew _would happen between her and Puckerman. Her eyes lowered. "It's not a crime to wait." She whispered.

You wanted to tell her that you agree with her. But the words wouldn't come. You knew that if you spoke about crime then what happened to you when you were eleven would come spilling out. The last person you told was Ryder; and he turned his back on you. Your parents knew – but after awhile they just brushed it under the rug. They didn't even talk to you about what you were going through. They didn't comfort you. They didn't say it wasn't your fault. They just brushed it under the rug. Like it didn't happen at all.

It happened. It changed you. It destroyed you.

After Ryder turned his back on you; you knew that you couldn't talk to anyone else about this. You couldn't bare the thought of another human turning away from you. Blaming you for what had happened to you. The complete loss of your innocents. The end of your childhood.

You look at Marley's bowed head for another silent moment. You turn back to your science book.

**END CHAPTER TWO**

_Author's Note: I have decided to bring Lima into the story. So everything of season four has happened …. expect for Regional s and Will and Emma's actual marriage in the choir room. I have decided to add some of the 'rewrites' that we got in season five for season four. So we are still in late Winter. (New Haven and New York winters are totally different from Ohio's winters. So New York/New Haven crew will be still in their warmest clothes … and dealing with blizzards – as the Lima crew are getting ready for Spring)._

_I'm a major major Artie and Kitty fan. I'm also a major Karley fan. I haven't really decided at this point if I want Artie & Kitty to be dating yet in this story (or even at all) or if I want Kitty and Marley to be together. But no matter what Kitty will be very close to both Artie and Marley throughout this story regardless whom she ends up with. _


	4. Quinn's Decision

**CHAPTER FOUR **

**QUINN'S DECISION**

**Quinn's POV**

You feel someone nuzzling into your chest. Your breath hitched as you breathed out "Beth." You feel the body still in your arms. "Oh Beth," you breath as you nuzzle your head against your baby girl's cheek; "Mama's here. Rest easy."

Your eyes slowly blink open fully expecting to see your daughter's smiling peaceful face; instead you see the startled face of a very grown Rachel Berry in your arms. Chocolate brown eyes widen; and sparkling with tears. "R-rachel?" You whisper.

"I'm sorry." She chocks out. She reaches up and touches your face, withdrawing her finger. You can see wetness on it. You didn't realize that you were crying.

You try to speak but you couldn't get behind the lump that was lodge in your throat. Bowing your head into the crook of her neck; you wept for the daughter that was no longer in your arms. You felt her arms wrap around your thin body; and you felt yourself being pulled tighter into her warm body.

You feel her warm hand against your all ready hot neck. "I miss her so much. I wish she was still with me. I wish that I kept her; and able to watch her grow every single second of the day." You couldn't keep the cries from escaping. Your arms tighten around her body. "Oh God what have I done?!"

**Rachel's POV**

You just hold her shaking body tightly against you. _If this is what it feels years after giving away your child; am I strong enough to endure it? Can I be as strong as Quinn? _ You don't have the answers to any one of those questions. You wonder if there is an answer some where out there among the galaxies.

You feel Quinn quiver up besides you. _NO!_ Your breath quicken. You gripe Quinn's back tighter against you. You just knew you weren't as strong as Quinn. That knowing your child is out there with a safe, and loving family isn't enough for you. You knew that you would no longer be able to function unless you had your baby right there at your side. Where you could look and see with your very own eyes that he or she is healthy, and very much loved.

What about Broadway? Without graduating from NAYDA is going to hurt your chances on the great white way. Having to drop out before the end of your freshmen year is by far the worst. But; how could you protect your child through the rigorous of what makes NAYDA ….. NAYDA.

You knew that you could count on Kurt to support you through your pregnancy. That he'll take your anger out on him by proxy – rather then having the child's father in the loft once more. He would gladly go out for three o'clock in the morning hunger crave every morning. He would gladly accept the addition to your little family. He wouldn't leave your side out of loyalty to Finn.

Santana you figured would be there throughout the pregnancy. But you couldn't see her in your child's childhood. She'll visit. She'll have long visits. But; she won't be doing the day to day joys of watching the child grow up.

Quinn? Now that was the question you have always asked yourself of. Ever since that first moment you caught sight of her across the park. The summer before entering high school. You wanted to go across the park and introduce yourself to the taller blonde – whom you could tell was half a year older than you. You always hopped that the blonde would become your friend from the first time you spoke – you dreamt of it for days on end. You kept a sharp eye out for her at the park – in town – and always in your own neighbored. But there wasn't another sighting.

Not until you entered the hall ways of McKinley. When you found her at a row of lockers. In an cheerleader uniform. You found the short red skirt was very flattering on her waist. You place a smile on your lips as you make your way over to her. Then you stopped dead in your tracks when she twists around to stare at you. Unblinking hazel eyes. You lost yourself in those eyes that were so hazel that they reminded you of gold.

Your eyes close at the feel of ice cold ice heat your full on. "Look at me _Treasure Tail_." A whiskey sounding voice commanded you. You didn't want to open your eyes. You didn't want to see that the blonde goddess was the one whom actually thew that slushy in your face. "I said look at me _Treasure Tail." _The harshness hit you full force. But something else hit you also. It was pure loneliness. Sadness. Fear. You open your eyes, and met the dead eyes of the goddess that you hoped to have made your friend. "If you ever try to speak to me, treasure trail, then just remember this moment. If you get in my way; I'll take you down." You listened as she spoke. You saw the sadness in her eyes. The fear. The pure loneliness. You decided to forgive her for this – and whenever she has to do it again. You promise yourself that you would never stop trying to be her friend.

You learn her name when one of the other cheerleader's slapped her on the shoulder; "Way to go Quinn Fabray. You keep this up then you'll be made head cheerleader before you leave McKinley." She sneered into your face. "See you later treasure tail!" She snared.

You never leave the hazel eyes which were staring into your own eyes. You poured all your love, kindness into your eyes; hoping that the goddess could silently read your promises to her.

"Get out of here _treasure tail_!" Her voice ordered you away. Her eyes pleading for you to leave her alone. You obey her and move away from the group of cheerleaders. That was the day you began to dread seeing the red of the cheerleader uniform. You knew that as long as your goddess was wearing that cheerleader uniform that there was no way that she'll want to be your friend. In that very first moment of your high school experience you knew that you were going to be low on the totem pole.

You tighten your hold against Quinn's shaky back as she was still weeping over her daughter. You couldn't think of anything you can do to calm her down. Expect to sing. Only when you opened your mouth for the first note this is what came out instead …..

**Quinn's POV**

"Do you remember back in Junior year when Sue managed to change the Cheerleader tournament to the night of the homecoming game? When you, Santana and Brittany had to quite Glee to please her? How when Finn finally managed to find you before you got on the bus to leave – and convinced you to be strong enough to quite – and rejoin Glee?" You heard her voice say softly in your ear. "How it was Finn whom gave you that strength?" You felt her breath on your ear; "No wonder why you felt the safety of his arms."

You felt her body heave up to yours; as she took a long shaky breathe. "I wanted to be the one to go find you. To give you the strength that you needed to finally do the brave thing. The hard thing. Too be yourself. Too be where you belonged."

You hiccup. You had managed to slow your crying from the heart wrenching – into whimpers. To finally stop. "When I saw you on that football field I knew that I had to have the courage to finally quite." You whisper against her neck.

"You saw me?" You could hear her frown. "I didn't see you until you came into the locker room to change for half time." Her right hand was moving around your waist to rest on the other side. Her fingers lightly smoothing your side.

"There was time to wander around. I unconsciously made my way to the gate of the football field." You tightened up at the memory. "My heart stopped when I saw you on that football field. In the middle of the huge tall opposite team of guys. When I saw you among our own boys – even with the other girls beside you." You turned your hazel eyes to meet her chocolate ones; "You looked even smaller than normal."

Your right hand and traced her cheekbone. "Promise me that you'll_ never _do anything that suicidal ever again."

"There wasn't enough players to play. We had to have a chance to show everyone what Glee could do for the school." She threw in. "The guys wouldn't have crashed into girls. They may have been dumb high school boys – but they had enough sense not to cream girls. At least girls whom _weren't_ Lauren."

"You could have been killed." You frowned. "You didn't belong out there on that football field." You felt heat rise as your fear; and your temper rose.

"We had a half time show to perform." Rachel stubbornly said. "I would have done _anything_ to get to half time."

"Is stardom worth your death?" You demanded fire in your eyes. "You just have to have all eyes on you; don't you Rachel Berry?! Even through it could literally kill you – you just couldn't let yourself be in the shadows just one damn time."

"I wanted McKinley High School to finally see that the Glee club – the greatest loser club in that school – would help with the half time show – when Sue pulled her _precious _Cheerios from the game." She calmly replied.

You heated up. "They wouldn't have given a fuck if you were seriously hurt; Rach."

She looked straight into your soul. "I know that."

"Then why the hell did you risk your life for them?" You shook your head.

"It was for you." She whispered.

You blinked. "I was going to be on the bus – driven away from the damn game." Her fingers were running up, and down your right cheek.

"I knew that you would be upset if the team didn't have a half time show. Even through you weren't part of it. Or even on school grounds at the time." She replied. "Your school spirit was worth it; Quinn."

"I hate that school." You couldn't keep the snare from your face. "I never had school spirit. The only things I only really cared about was Glee, and you." You just realized what just slipped out of your mouth. You were done hiding.

Rachel's fingers caressed your cheek.

**Rachel's POV**

"I'm sorry for having awaken you." You whisper as you stare into her open hazel eyes above you. "I actually need to use the restroom."

Quinn blinked. Her eyes drifted over to her clock which read four am. "Only two hours of sleep. Seems right." She's murmuring. She moved off of you; and you missed her warmth. You missed her weight on you. But you knew that you couldn't remain in her bed any longer – not if you didn't want to accidentally wet her sheets.

You watch as she removed herself from the bed. You took her offered hand. "I'll be right back." You whisper as you feel yourself move closer.

"I'm not going to have you deal with the hallways at this time of night." She shook her head. Not removing her hand from yours. You just silently allowed her to lead you from her dark dorm room – well dark …. expect for the night lights in two corners.

You see that the hallway was lite in a soft dim light. "I think I could have found my way to the restroom easily." You chugged under your breath lightly.

She stubbornly shook her head. "No. It's not safe."

You follow her into the rest room. "Umm …. Quinn ….."

She stops and turns to you.

"You don't have to _watch_ me you know." You let out a soft giggle. "So if you don't mind?"

A light blush graces her face. "R-r-right. You can handle it from here." She scoots past you out into the main part of the bathroom. "Do you think that you can hum or something? I can't go knowing that someone is outside stall just waiting for me." She brushes redder. "Sure Rach."

You found that you could actually go without Quinn humming. Okay then. Pregnancy is one interesting thing here. You wonder if you should ask Quinn if she managed to go in public bathrooms when it was quiet – knowing full well that other people were out of the stall; and having those people be silent also? You do remember reading in one of the pregnancy books you read during Quinn's pregnancy that uncontrollable peeing was due to the baby pressing down on the mother's bladder. Even at such an early stage as you currently were in. So you didn't have to ask Quinn if she peed in a quiet bathroom with someone else on the other side of the stall door.

Quinn began to hum a few seconds after you began to go.

You step out of the stall after you were finished. You look at her in the mirror as you wash your hands. "When I said never to leave me; I didn't mean quite literally." You softly smile.

"I'll never leave you." She promises looking you in the mirror.

"You'll have to leave me sometimes. After all you go to school in Yale; and I live in New York." You turn, and push the button on the hand dyer.

"I'll move to New York." She replied.

You turn quickly around. "No you are not Lucy Quinn Fabray." You shake your raised right index finger in her face; "I'm not going to allow you to drop out of Yale for me."

She sighs. "I hate it here."

"No you don't." You argue.

"You aren't here." She replied.

You sigh. "I'm only two hours away by train. We will visit more. I'm not going to allow you to drop out of a very prestigious university for me."

"There are plenty of good university in New York." She argued.

"We are right smack in the middle of the year; Quinn. No one is going to accept you at this late date." You reasonably pointed out.

"I'm not going to allow you to go through this pregnancy alone, Rach." She firmly replied.

"I'm not alone." You sigh deeply. "Kurt and Santana are with me."

"As if they are able to truly help you." She rolls her eyes. "Kurt has never lived with a pregnant woman before. Santana … she means well …. and with her being the middle child of eight … she has seen her mother pregnant plenty of times ….. but, she's not the best for you right now."

"Quinn ….." you begin with your argument.

**Quinn's POV**

"Look Rach, my mind is made up." You reach out and took her hand into yours. "I was going to finish out the year; then I would transfer to an university in New York next year any how. I'm just getting an earlier start now is all."

Her chocolate brown eyes widen.

"I have an early acceptation from New York University." You laugh as you shrug; "Apparently I'm lucky with early acceptations."

"Is it because you know that Beth is in New York?" She looked deeply into your eyes.

You smile and nod. "You and Beth are the only reason why I want to be in New York now."

"You won't be happy in New York." She shakes her head. "Not unless you find that your dream is truly is in New York."

"I'm_ not _Finn." The harshness echos into the tilted walls of the bathroom.

She flinched.

"My dream isn't Yale." You speak in a softer voice. "The only reason why I wanted Yale was to prove to my _father_ that even through I screwed up my life in my Sophomore year; by having a baby – that I pull myself up; and get into one of the best schools in the world. I'm _done _trying to prove myself worthy of that _man's _time and love." You swallow. "I'm never going to have it."

"Quinn ..." she reaches up to cup your right cheek.

"I don't want to be a trophy wife! Or a step ford wife." You whisper. "If I remain at Yale; then that's what I'll become." You step closer to her. "I just want to be me. Just me."

"Okay." She whispers as she pulls you closer for a hug. You rest your head against her shoulder.

**Rachel's POV**

You knew then that Quinn was making the right decision on moving to New York. When she first said it – your heart lifted knowing that she would be close to you once more. She'll live in the same state with you. Close by – after all New York University was close to the loft. But; you _had _to make sure that Quinn truly wanted to come to New York. That she wasn't running away from her dream of Yale.

You had to push her until you were sure. You held her a little tighter as you felt her relax in your arms once more. You couldn't keep the yawn from escaping.

She giggled. "It's best we get back to bed. Sleeping in the bathroom of the Yale dorm simply won't do."

You giggle also. You take her offered hand; and you two leave the bathroom. You allow her to lead you back into her room; and felt the night lights bay the dark room. You slip onto her bed with her following close behind. Resting your head on the pillow next to hers. "You can stay at the loft until you find a place."

"Kurt will have a fit." She sighed as she turned so she could face you; and rest her hand against your stomach.

"He loves you." You replied. "He'll be thrilled to have you as a temporary roommate."

"What about Santana? I know for a fact that my wild breed Latina isn't going to like sharing the living area." She couldn't keep the yawn from her face.

You winkle your nose. "She invited herself into the loft. We didn't invite her. She doesn't get a say. Sides I was hoping that you would share my room with me? After all my bed is big enough for two." You hold your breathe as you waited for her answer.

She stiffened next to you.

"Never mind. It was just a thought." You whisper. You try to keep the tears at bay. But some slipped down your cheeks.

"Oh Rach. No, no it's not what you think." She had lifted herself up; and was now trying to dry your tears with her fingers. "I was just thinking that I shouldn't make you feel like you have to offer the loft or your bed to me. I don't mind staying in a hotel."

You frown.

She sighed. "I knew I shouldn't have told you quite yet." She shook her head in frustration. "Damn it Quinn …." She was berating herself. "can't you do anything right?"

Your hand lifted and gripped hers. "Quinn, I want you in the loft. I want you next to me. I want to be able to be as close to you as we were getting in our final year in Lima. I want to be able to have an never ending sleepover with you."

She looks you in the eye. "Only until I find a place of my own. Which shouldn't be too long." She smiled. "Perhaps I'll even manage to find a place where Santana can live with me also."

"Okay." You whisper. You didn't want any of the hope to seep into your voice. Hope that Quinn would never find a place to live. You wanted her to live with you from now on. She was home to you. She was your family. But; you couldn't cling to her. You would lose her if you clung to her.

Finn did finally manage to teach you that lesson.

You knew that clinging to Kurt was all right – because he loves you. He's your family. He clings onto you just as much as you cling onto him. Kurt was the exception to the rule.

But; clinging onto Quinn Fabray will be the fastest way of losing her. For all time. You have to fight your instinct to cling to her. You have to have faith that she truly wants to be around you – on her own terms.

**Quinn's POV**

"I'm _not_ Finn Hudson." You growl out.

"I never said you were. Not even close." Confusion was in her voice. "Where is this coming from?"

"Where it always comes from." You said tiredly. "Look; Rach. I'm tired. I know that you are tired also. Let's just get some more sleep while we can. My dorm mates are exactly quiet when they are up."

"Quinn. I demand to know what you mean by that comment that you use. Yet again." Her open chocolate eyes are trying to stare you down.

"I out spoke." You reply as you rested your head back on the pillow.

"This isn't the _first _time you out spoke the way you did concerning you not being Finn Hudson." Her tired voice spoke.

"Can we just let it be tonight? Just let it be." You plead.

"I'm going to leave it alone for right now; Quinn. But;" she holds her pointer right – and seriously being as close as you were to her; right in your face. "We will be discussing this in great detail Lucy Quinn Fabray."

"Yes ma'am." You meekly replied.

She scoots closer to you; and wraps her right arm against your hip. "I love you Quinn." She kisses your cheek.

"I love you too Rach." You whisper. You kiss the corner of her mouth. You managed to keep the moan from slipping passed your lips.

She smiles softly and rests her head on the pillow, and closes her eyes. "My baby is going to love their aunt Quinnie."

"Only my mother calls me Quinnie." You sigh as you rest your head next to hers.

"If he or she calls you Quinnie … you won't mind it." She laughs in her sigh. "But the baby will come up with his or her own cute nickname for you."

"Okay Rae." You watch as she slips into sleep.

"My fathers call me Rae. It's nice coming from you." She smiles.

"I'll come up with my own special nickname for you; Rachel." You whisper as watch her breathing even out. _If you will allow me too._

Your eyes drift close and you slip back into sleep once more.

**END CHAPTER FOUR**


End file.
